All parents: I know at least one of these have happened to you:
1. Getting your child on a nap schedule is only beneficial because you can answer emails/phone calls/eat/do laundry/chug coffee at the same time every day.
2. As soon as you turn on the hot water to take a shower, your kid starts knocking on the door, hysterically crying because they can’t find their doll (which is in their hands).
3. I can barely get through a drama script, but when my daughter has a rash, I quickly read through thousands of pages worth of medical information. Turns out it was just pasta sauce on her arm, but now I speak fluent latin.
4. I know every song on the Yo Gabba Gabba and Fresh Beat Band CD’s and have listened to each of them in the car without my daughter.
5. All my jewelery, nail polish and shoes are now my child’s. Along with my food, drinks, bed, couch space, and life.
6. I just found a piece of waffle in my hair. Too bad the last time we had waffles was two days ago. I wonder if it will taste good with a little syrup?
7. “One more time” means “6 more times” which means “infinity times”. That also goes for minutes, seconds, and hours of play.
8. Every time I dont’ bring a jacket, it rains. It could be July in Arizona, and it will all of a sudden snow when I tell myself I’m going to not bring a jacket with me. This is also the one time my child will tell me she’s actually cold.
9. I’ve left the house wearing face paint and a tiara - and no pants.
10. Hot chocolate is coffee. Never EVER tell your child the truth about it’s ingredients. Coffee. Don’t think after they turn 2 years old, you are allowed to have any adult beverage without giving them the exact same thing.