Screw this whole thing about girls not being able to play sports and guys not being able to play with dolls. Sure, I can’t play une sport, and boys who play with dolls are totally gay, but what’s wrong with that? To each their own. Thats exactly what I want my daughter to learn: don’t be afraid to be you.

My almost 3 year old daughter has been really into dressing up like a princess and then demanding she play soccer in said princess dress. Quite an advanced task don’t you think? Of course she has her mommy’s genes. Who else in her family can wear such fancy clothes and do such bad ass things?

Luckily, I’m about to get married and now someone else will be in charge of chasing loose balls, making sure she doesn’t run after a ball into the street, and teaching her how soccer, a game played with your legs only, can also be played by headbutting the ball. Good look with that one hubby. Hey, I got her covered on the handball front. She has fully mastered the “slicey” technique thank you very much.

I am quite proud of my little one for being able to kick a ball further and faster than most men, and while wearing a tiara. Just when I think she’s like baddest chick on the planet, the inevitable “fall” happens. You know what I mean. A toddler falls down and the entire world has collapsed onto her knee and nothing matters other than the invisible scratch only they can see. “No doctor mommy please i don’t want to go to the doctor!” The only doctor needed is a therapist on call for mommy. I seriously think i’ve spent over half my weekly salary on bandaids this year. At the 99 cent store. Fucking ouchies.

Despite the fact that i’m going broke on bandaid purchases, tiaras, baby dolls, princess dresses, the 600 balls in our front yard, backyard, under the bed, in the toy chest, behind the television, under the dog, and in the bathtub, I don’t care about anything other than the fact she is her own person. That little thing does not give a fuck, and I hope that never changes.